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Here’s something I don’t talk about often.

When I first became a Business Coach, I was the classic overwhelmed business owner.

You know the one: trying to do all the things, all at once, all by myself. From the outside, it looked like everything was working. Clients were showing up, referrals were coming in, and my calendar was full. On paper, it was the kind of momentum new business owners dream about.

But momentum without structure is a dangerous combination. And behind the scenes, I was running myself into the ground.

I was drowning in decisions, working far too many hours, and living squarely in that phase every entrepreneur knows but doesn’t often admit: the “you don’t know what you don’t know” stage. It’s humbling, stressful, and, if left unchecked, it becomes a breeding ground for burnout.

Looking back, I can see exactly what was happening. I was operating purely out of effort, not clarity. I was filling every gap in the business simply because it needed doing. And I was carrying the weight of every single role because I believed I should be able to.

Let me repeat that: I believed I should be able to.

This wasn’t a capability issue. It wasn’t a lack of intelligence or commitment. It was a mindset trap; one that many small business owners, leaders, and managers fall into without even noticing.

As a Small Business Coach, I see this constantly today: capable professionals who confuse responsibility with self-reliance. We assume strong leaders “figure everything out.” We convince ourselves that asking for help signals weakness, when in reality, it signals self-awareness, maturity, and strategic discipline.

I wish someone had told me that sooner.

Instead, I learned the lessons the hard way, so my clients don’t have to.

The Hidden Cost of Doing Everything Yourself

In those early years, I was my own COO, CFO, CMO, HR department, IT help desk, and Executive Assistant. And yes, I carried a fair amount of guilt when I felt like I wasn’t doing any of those roles well enough. I thought I should be able to manage everything simply because I was the business owner. After all, wasn’t this what business owners do?

The truth is: no. It’s not what successful business owners and successful leaders do.

Think of it this way: We become the bottleneck when we insist on doing it all. We leave money on the table when we aren’t clear about our Pinnacle Gift^TM, and we aren’t leveraging that gift.

Successful leaders build support around their strengths. They create structure that carries them through uncertainty. They focus on high-value contributions and stop wasting time and energy on work that someone else could handle better, faster, and with less cost to the business.

When I finally admitted that I couldn’t sustainably run every function of my company, something shifted. I began to observe my own behaviors through the same lens I used with clients. The irony was glaring: I had developed strong frameworks for my clients’ businesses but hadn’t applied them consistently in my own.

The same patterns I coached others to avoid were showing up in my daily routines: decision overload, lack of prioritization, reactivity instead of strategy, and a creeping sense of guilt anytime something slipped through the cracks.

It became clear I needed to get honest with myself, the same way I ask my clients to get honest about what’s working and what isn’t.

The Turning Point: Clarity, Strengths, and Asking for Help

The big turning point didn’t happen all at once. It happened in three distinct but connected shifts.

1.      I Clarified My Pinnacle Gift

This wasn’t a branding exercise or a personality quiz. It was a deep look at the intersection of my strengths, experience, values, and the unique contribution I bring to my clients. Every business owner has this core gift, their highest-value zone. When we’re working in it, our work feels meaningful, focused, and impactful. We are energized, and we are adding exceptional value to our clients’ lives.

When we’re outside it, everything becomes harder, slower, and heavier. Our work is draining, instead of energizing.

Clarifying my Pinnacle Gift gave me a filter for what belonged on my plate and what didn’t, something I now use extensively in my Executive Coaching work with business owners and leaders who struggle with competing priorities.

2.      I Learned Smart, Sane Ways of Off-Loading

Off-loading is not the same as delegating. It’s more strategic, more thoughtful, and more sustainable. It’s about clearing space; not just assigning tasks. It is about developing and implementing smart processes that ensure consistent, high-quality results in your business. In my case, I began by outsourcing small, manageable pieces of work that siphoned time and energy away from my strengths. It was uncomfortable at first, but it quickly became liberating.

And the truth is, you don’t need a full-time team to benefit from support. I started with people who worked a few hours each week. Those few hours freed up space I hadn’t realized I was missing.

3.      I Embraced Asking for Help

This was the hardest shift of all. For years, I had internalized the belief that capable people don’t need help. But capability without support leads to stagnation. Capability with support leads to expansion.

This is something I now emphasize with leaders in my Executive Leadership Coaching who often feel pressure to be the most self-sufficient person in the room.

When I finally accepted that asking for help wasn’t a weakness but a path to better leadership, everything changed. My work became more focused and strategic. My business became more resilient. And I felt more confident, not because I was doing everything myself, but because I wasn’t.